Saturday, September 02, 2006

If only.......

Institutions can be broadly classified into two - those for the mentally challenged and those by the mentally challenged. my college can be thrown into the second category. it is truly an outstanding example of an exercise in banality and foolishness. the college has a striking similarity to the wizard prison from the world of harry potter. on one hand, we have azkaban, run by cloaked, hooded creatures intent on sucking the joy and cheer out of the inmates' lives. and then, we have Aurora, my college. it IS run by creatures, sans the hoods and cloaks, also intent on sucking the joy and cheer out of the students' lives. the ultimate punishment a dementor can mete out is the dreaded "dementor's kiss", where in it sucks the soul out of the victim, through the victim's mouth. are the creatures in aurora thinking of something on the same lines? oh sweet mother of god!!! i hope not. and oh yeah, Aurora and Azkaban, both start with an 'A'......... coincidence? i think not.

and then, we have the chairman of the institution. the so called "exalted" leader of the aurora consortium, Ramesh something or the other. he can be related to the dark lord, lord voldemort. the fact that he's dark skinned helps too. but does he inspire the fear and awe that lord voldemort does? HELL NO!!!!! interestingly enough, he does inspire varying degrees of hatred, contempt and disgust. to even think that aurora would take a turn for the better would be an exercise in futility. it has been on a steady decline, with the rate of degradation increasing by the year.

firstly, they have dumb people making up dumber rules. like students have to wear only formals. true, the idea behind it is noble enough. they want the students to look professional. but then, the noble idea turns out to be nobler if only it is implemented properly. the so called 'formal dress code' of the students is flouted by the students in an interesting way. the guys are seen wearing all kinds of garish colors, floral patterns, hawaiian shirts possible. as long as they tuck their shirts in, who's to question them? then, we are forced to wear our ID cards. they look more like dog tags than like identity cards, which, sadly, kind of beats the purpose of the Id cards. i bet the lecturers are seriously contemplating on shouting commands like "fetch!", or "down boy, down", "sit!", "good dog" in the not so distant future. and the kind of setting the college is in. completely cut of from civilization, just past bhongir (which is NOT civilization), "amidst lush greenery, scenic mountain ranges and serene surroundings" cut the crap!!! who am i kidding?? all i see around my college is desolation., dust and more dust. and oh yeah, throw in a few hills, stinking plants, and volla!!! there u are.

the college prospectus describes the canteen as "a place where students can get together to enjoy baked goodies and yaddayaddayadda" i can wager my life's savings (amounting to exactly zilch) that every third plate of noodles ordered has a poor unsuspecting member of the insect kingdom trapped....caught unawares.., no doubt surprised. but i actually envy the poor critter, for it has been liberated from this cess pool.

the more time i spend in the college, the stronger is a particular vision i keep having. call it second sight. call it the future. or call it having way too much free time on my hands. i see myself trapped in the college. some unseen force hunting me down. i run, frantically trying to escape........i see no way out, finally run out onto the terrace.....i see armies of lecturers, converging on me, some with id cards in their hands, some with the "college handbook", but most just with their arms stretched out. i look to the heavens, my mouth wide open in a silent scream.........as darkness creeps into my vision, i think...."why god??? WHY?????"

4 Comments:

Blogger Madhuri Kaushik said...

i was rolling with laughter......that part on dag tags stole the show away, till now i found ur cribbing about ur college amusing, but now u have all my sympathies!!!
Gr8 work......totally hit it off.

2:40 AM  
Blogger Vijay Anand said...

hey...much appreciated...thax for the comment, mads

9:08 AM  
Blogger Vijay Anand said...

*thanx*

9:08 AM  
Blogger arunimagoesunedited said...

well...I must say the narration would take a person to his/her college days, as more or less everywhere 'some aspects' (mentioned in IF ONLY..)do prevail.. someone has written what others might have felt some other day at some other point of time...keep on keying in your thoughts...
:)

5:17 AM  

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